At some time in our lives we’ve probably all heard the old saw, “Nice ladies don’t drink (too much).”

       Our culture (until recently, at least), has frowned on the female alcoholic/addict.

       Women who “lose control” while consuming alcohol and/or other drugs are thought of in particularly harsh terms. They’re assumed to be sexually “loose,” to have failed in their roles as mothers or partners, and are generally viewed as having violated the “laws” (or at least conventions) of gender behavior.

       Male alcoholics/addicts, on the other hand, are more likely to be viewed as having failed at a task (work, being a law-abiding citizen), not as having failed as a human being.

       Many women hide their drinking or drug use in an attempt to avoid having “Life Failure” stamped on their forehead. According to Dr. Nancy Waite-O’Brien, “It’s important to remember that in our culture, the harshest critic of the female alcoholic/addict isn’t society in the abstract, it’s the woman herself. She sees herself as a failure in the important roles she’s chosen for herself: mother, professional, wife, partner.

       “These harsh internal and external judgments result in higher levels of shame and guilt in women alcoholics and addicts than in men.”

       Adding to the mix, and to the potency of “shame” as a roadblock standing in the way of treatment for many women, is trauma.

       Dr. Joanna O’Flaherty says a high percentage of woman alcoholics/addicts are trauma survivors. “The correlation between trauma and addictions is astounding,” Dr. O’Flaherty says. “A trauma history needs to be taken in the early stages of treatment,” she adds, “because unresolved trauma will stymie recovery and may lead to relapse. We often find that the mood-altering substance was used to anesthetize the psychic pain of the traumatized individual.”

       How to overcome the “Shame Factor?” First, says Dr. O’Flaherty, the woman alcoholic/addict needs to get herself into a gender-specific treatment program. “That’s the most effective route,” she says, “for the woman addicted to alcohol and/or other drugs, weighted down with trauma issues.”

       The Betty Ford Center treatment programs for women, she adds, “are gender-specific, are grounded in the 12-Step philosophy, augmented with psychodynamic and cognitive behavior therapy. These are proven methodologies that reduce shame, build self-esteem, and help the patient begin a journey of recovery.”