Addiction, Treatment and Recovery

From ‘12 Steps for Parents’ by Dr. Patricia O’Gorman and Philip Diaz, MSW

It is important to remember that parenting is always a struggle between love and fear. As parents, we try to control our children in an attempt to protect them from any painful experiences. The best you can do as a parent is be an example and encourage your children to their fullest by being all that you can be. As a recovering parent you will need to take responsibility for learning about your children and developing new parenting strategies so that you may open new avenues of communication and self respect in your families. Following the 12 Steps of Recovery, Revised for Parents, can bring sanity, order and fulfillment to the parenting process:

Step 1: Admit powerlessness over your ability to protect your children from pain and become willing to surrender to your love and not your control.

Step 2: Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through faith and a willingness to work on yourself.

Step 3: Reach out for help and acknowledge that you are not alone.

Step 4: Take stock in yourself as a parent.

Step 5: Learn to share your parenting issues with others without self-recrimination.

Step 6: Become ready to change by giving up the demand to be perfect.

Step 7: Make conscious changes in your parenting by identifying specific strategies for healthy parenting.

Step 8: Take responsibility for the effect your parenting has had on your children and learn self-forgiveness.

Step 9: Make amends to your children through healthy parenting without over compensating.

Step 10: Model being honest with yourself and your children and create acceptance in your family for imperfection.

Step 11: Learn to accept your limits in life and find your true spiritual path while allowing your children theirs.

Step 12: Reach out to other parents in the spirit of giving and community.

excerpted from:
“The Lowdown on Families Who Get High” – - Child & Family Press (July 2004)
“Breaking the Cycle of Addiction”- – Health Communications (1987)
reprinted with permission from the authors

Related posts:

1. Parenting Issues for Parents in Recovery
2. The Steps Work You – Fifth Step
3. Using Action to Explore the 12 Steps with Families
4. Testimonials are a Tribute to the Importance of Aftercare
5. Family Recovery Means Children Too!